TV girl
Sells white smiles
And trim waists
And expensive clothing
And flawless makeup
And happiness
None of which
Have anything to do
With back pain medication
None of which
Belong to her.
But TV girl grins
Holds medication she hasn’t taken
Shows off her good side
Spouts facts she memorized
In the dim light of her apartment.
Looks for approval
From the grizzled man
Behind the camera.
Stands and acts pretty
Silent in the set
Hears the voiceover inside her head
Talking too fast
Saying too much
And not saying enough-
Side effects may include
Nausea, faintness, depression, anxiety, suicidal thoughts, and death-
Maybe she has taken the pills before.
TV girl plays with kids
Whose real mothers stand off to the side
Waiting for the shoot to finish
So they can go get ice cream
To celebrate.
When TV girl goes home
She melts
Into the tile floor of her bathroom.
She rests her head
On the toilet lid
Waits for emails
From casting directors
And agencies
That never come.
Scrolls for texts
From family
And friends
That never come.
And so, she rereads the old ones again.
She takes a test
From her online college course
And fails.
TV girl screams
Into the bag of chips
She took from the go-see
One week ago
That offered snacks
That real pretty girls don’t eat
But real humans
Have to eat.
TV girl
Looks at her reflection
On the screen
And wishes she could be
That girl.